Two years ago I went through a tough divorce with my ex-artner whom I’d been with for over 20 years. As with most people who do get divorced, I never really thought that something like that would happen to me, and every aspect of my life was shared with my ex. The result of this was that getting through the divorce itself was incredibly tough.
Now divorces are tough times for anyone going through them but I do want to share with you some tips on how you can get through such a difficult time, so that you can start to live your life again.
Hiring a great lawyer is about more than just getting the divorce settlement that you want, it is also about having someone on hand to advise, and support you. I was very fortunate to have the fantastic Groth & Associates in my corner who made sure that the legal side of the divorce went as well as possible, as well as supporting me through a tough time. For both of these reasons, I would really recommend doing some research and getting yourself a great law firm that specialises in family law.
Once my ex-partner and myself decided that we were definitely going to get a divorce, I should have immediately cut all ties, but at the time it just didn’t seem right. If you are going through a divorce at the moment then I would also recommend that you do what I didn’t, and remove the majority of things that tie you and your soon-to-be ex. This is not to say that you remove them or your family from your lives, it is about cancelling the mail, changing your address, cancelling memberships and similar items. The reason for this is that whilst they may be the last thing on your mind at the time of the divorce, you will be reminded of them at the worst possible time, take the band-aid off, and cut as many ties as possible to help you move on with your life.
One great experience which I had after my divorce was when I decided to take up some hobbies. In reality I did this to get out of the house and do something other than work, but it turned out to have a great many benefits. Friends are usually made as a couple rather than individually and this could mean that you have less friends to do things with, picking up a hobby can help you to meet people. Finding new things to do such as exercise can also help you to feel better physically, and give you a great start to your new chapter. You may not feel like moving on with your life straight away but if you can pick up a hobby or two, you’ll find that it will happen without you realising.
Regardless of what happened with the divorce, the key to the first few months afterwards is about getting your self esteem back, and understanding that there is a world out there waiting for you, when you are ready to move on.